User:Gandalf the Black

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Gandalf the Black
The classic-style Gand profile picture
Gandalf the Grey

Created by Eru Ilúvatar prior to the Music of the Ainur
Known forFormer "legendary"[1] whitename.
Criminal statusConvicted puff-jacker

Gandalf the Black is a miscreant Realmer, Junior Scholar and a convicted puff-jacker.


The circumstances surrounding Gand's existence prior to realming are obscure and steeped hardcore in myth. Any claims made by the infobox on the right are ENTIRELY unsubstantiated and should be disregarded NOW. That said, while he is a citizen of the country of "United" "Kingdom" on planet Earth in the normally-mentated realm, it is not clear whether he is in fact originally of this Earth. I cannot say. We CANNOT say. But if I could say... uhh, yeah, methinks I WOULD say he is not of the Earth, but I CANNOT say. Do you understand that? I CANNOT say. I SHALL not say.

Realming Career

Caesar getting stabbed in a pumped assassination fashion by Roman senators

Gand first entered the 'cord on the Ides of March MMDCCLXXV ab urbe condita, MMLXVII years after the justified assassination of the tyrant Julius Caesar, an act which was entirely precedented by the tradition of tyrannicide in antiquity. It would have been entirely legal to match if it happened in Greece, a land of much more civilised folk than the Romans. Of course, it is worth noting a'swell that the perpetrators, being members of the senatorial class, were not truly acting purely out of concern for the rights of the citizens; the senatorial class had already lost a great deal of power under Caesar's dictatorship, and stood to lose more if Caesar continued his heavy-handed rule. As such, the assassination of Caesar can easily be framed as an act of self-defence by Rome's elites. Buuut... yeahhhh... he had it coming to match, in the author's humble opinion.

Gand is an active participant in realming culture, engaging in activities such as chatting, pumping, imaginarium-dreamatorianising, tech-torturing, meming, Junior Scholastics.


Gand regularly chats in the 'cord and the Skeleton Realm LIVE! live chat. At the time of writing, he has sent 4,459 messages in the 'cord, and 2,914 in the live chat, making him the 6th most prolific chatter. He needs to hush NOW.[2] Seriously, hush dude.[3]

He is known for quotes such as "I am Gandalf."


Gand subscribes to an extremist pumping philosophy, called "pumpo ut pumpeo" in the academic field of Pump studies. This philosophy inverts the traditional approach to pumping and busting, in which the pumper pumps in order to achieve the bust; instead, the pumper pumps for pumping's sake and enjoyment, and the bust is something that is delayed through pump-edging. The most hardcore and steezed adherents of this school can even avoid busting entirely. Hamson Jeefblaster currently holds the longest pump-edge record - he has been pumping for 42 years without busting, and he appears to have entered a state of consciousness in which the bust is metaphysically incapable of manifesting. Gand reportedly still tends to bust on Wednesdays during the period of intense pumping of SRL, but practises pump-edging the rest of the week.

Imaginarium Dreamatorianising

At the time of writing, Gandalf has posted 420 messages with images in the dreamatorium in the 'cord. Common themes in his images are rotund men dressed in yellow in various situations - attending Gorbfest, launching themselves into the air by means of faecal propulsion and sitting in piles of food and waste products.


Gand is an amateur tech-torturer. On 12th May, he posted a video of a game he called "Skeleton Realm SURVIVE!", the premise of which is to defeat waves of Sam and Doug's enemies. The video displayed a very early stage of development, and the first scenario, in which Doug and Sam must perform citizens executions on their haters to reduce their Hatreon bill.

Another tech-toy created by Gand was a guest generator. It generated guest names as a primitve tech-toy style.



Gand has posted more than 20 memes over his realming career. It is not confirmed that any of them were funny.

In addition to regular-style realmer memes, he posted many "memes" about the day of the week, but no longer engages in this style of meme activity.

Junior Scholastics

Gandalf became a Junior Scholar on the Ides of April MMDCCLXXVI ab urbe condita, and has since penned three of his own articles, in addition to edits on various pages. His works include Morph Williams, Jorm's Motel Hunters Paradise Vacation Adventure and RealmEye.

At the time of writing, he has made over 50 edits and submissions to Skelepedia, including minor edits, image uploads and redirects.


Gandalf died under mysterious circumstances on the Ides of Gorbtember MMDCCBVI ab urbe condita. An autopsy revealed a fractured skull, several blows to the kneecaps and an unexploded WW2-era hand grenade embedded into his side, but given that his body was discovered by laugh-busters, it is hard to determine to what extent these injuries were simply induced by the pranksters in a satirical post-mortem style. Either way, it was an epic prank and it definitely busted Gandalf hardcore. Yep, he got totally busted and I bet he was still pumping when it happened. Yep.