NewsWorld

From Skelepedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Sam and Doug discuss their new environment, NewsWorld, during episode 70, "LIVE from NEWSWORLD

NewsWorld is a higher media plane Doug and Sam were sent to in episode 69. Episode 70 takes place entirely in NewsWorld, an environment covered in newspapers, with Doug dressed as a newsboy and Sam dressed (presumably) as a newspaper with a dark suit and white skin to match. Since episode 70, Doug and Sam have been using MeMoreVR goggles to control avatars of their bodies in "reality prime."


History

Episode 69

Doug and Sam celebrated episode 69 by promoting the launch of a new app in private controlled pre-alpha: DateMe - a MeMoreTV dating app that was also being promoted by a media being, FreakMouth. FreakMouth spends the first half of episodes injecting foul-mouth asides and turning everything dirty as all hell. Sam finally acknowledges the proverbial elephant in the room and reads FreakMouth's introduction:

FreakMouth getting pierced by Sam.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Sultan of Suck, The Boss of Body (with a mouth to match), The Nutting Professor, The Dirty Dalmatian, The Perfect Pecker Inspector, The Loving Licker, The Horny Hammer, The Pink-tongued Bitch, The Cum Collector, and The Master of Genitals. Ladies and gentlemen, it's FreakMouth.

After he is introduced, FreakMouth immediately asks if Sam and Doug want to “fuck really quick” and added how much he “love[s] the news.” He continues disrupting the show, and at nearly an hour in, asks Doug and Sam to pierce him. He had brought tongue studs an, after a quick audience poll, the “69” stud was picked. After avowing not to cum, FreakMouth broke that promise while getting pierced. To make sure the piercing didn’t fall out, Doug and Sam took a chrome ball and placed it at the bottom of the piercing. Doug and Sam find there is a new message in the DateMe app - from #4949999-93!ERROR_4

Wanna meet up at the News Stand at the airport and have hardcore sex? Lets be dirty as hell. Dirty Style. Thanks!

Sam attempts to report the message but finds that FreakMouth kinked the DateMe app. After explaining that he had been behind the kinks in the app, FreakMouth admitted, “I’ve got some other plans for you. You guys want to hold on for the ride of your life and get ready to bust?” A symphony of FreakMouth moans fill the studio and contrast overtakes the screen, ending the stream.

Episode 70, 'LIVE from NEWSWORLD!'

Sam in NewsWorld

10 weeks later, we catch up with Doug and Sam in NewsWorld, where the hosts have lost track of time. On a table, rotating in a cube of water, is a mouth that bears a strong resemblance to FreakMouth, but lacking pigment. We find out this is actually FreakMouth and he wants Doug and Sam to call him by another name: NewsMouth. Doug admits that in the last week, NewsMouth has grown on him and some of the dirtiness from episode 69 has disappeared.  

After a completely news-focused episode that sees Doug getting sick from not enough news and soaking his face in news slop to overcome his withdrawal symptoms, Doug and Sam wake NewsMouth from his sleep with a classic town-crier-style bell. After rattling off some news, NewsMouth reveals that NewsWorld is a higher media plane where "you become one with the news." He also reveals he not only loves the news, but was designed for it a'swell. However, Doug and Sam were not, and therefore their bodies must adjust to the NewsWorld environment. As various headlines flash onscreen about Doug and Sam, NewsMouth explains Doug and Sam are now becoming one with the news.

Doug and Sam realize their bodies are “screwed up” from NewsWorld, and they miss home. They realize that the chromeball securing FreakMouth’s tongue piercing did something to the media being’s power system, which brought them to NewsWorld. To return, they need to remove the chromeball from the encased NewsMouth. They wake up NewsMouth once again with the classic town-crier-style bell, and ask why a respectable newscaster would have a 69-style tongue piercing. They replace the 69 stud with a new, back-less American flag stud.

Suddenly, they hear Damon Trunk trying to get their attention. That chromeball was Damon’s planet. 10 weeks prior, in episode 60, Doug and Sam had shrunk Damon down so he could live on a small chrome orb that would act as his own personal planet. Unfortunately, his tormentor and uncle, the famous body explorer Tiny Jack, snuck in to his shrink shuttle. Until now, Tiny Jack had been non-stop torturing Damon. When Doug and Sam dislodged the chromeball, Damon was set free. However, Tiny Jack decided to launch himself down FreakMouth/NewsMouth’s throat to explore his body, but because NewsMouth has no body, he was thrown into a 'news abyss'.

Damon asks if Doug and Sam could take him with them in their escape from NewsWorld. Sam decides he will “parachute” Damon, wrapping him and his tiny chromeball planet in newspaper and swallowing it all. They wake NewsMouth one more time to ask again how to escape NewsWorld. As NewsMouth slowly loses power, he offers to tell them how to escape if and only if they will read his generated obituary:

Created in 1998 by Alan Duan Michael, NewsMouth was a desktop application designed to deliver real time news headlines to the user in a fun and interactive way.

In 2007, MeMoreTV acquired the rights to NewsMouth and rebranded the product into a “Media Being” for use as a host at the 2007 White House Correspondents’ Dinner, as the association wanted a “non-comedian” host after the Virginia Tech shootings.

In 2023, in order to promote the new DateMe Dating and Romance app, MeMoreTV once again rebranded NewsMouth, this time into “FreakMouth” after training its algorithm on over 1,000,000 hours of pornography, The Howard Stern Show, and episodes of Skeleton Realm Live!. NewsMouth was integral to the development of MeMoreVR.

As NewsMouth expires, he cryptically murmurs “Your way out is in.” To solve NewsMouth’s RIDDLE, Doug and Sam must look to NewsMouth’s obit. Doug pieces together that if they put on the MeMore VR goggles NewsMouth was so integral in the development of, they can escape. Doug and Sam reach inside the newspaper dispenser that’s been sitting between them, only to find two MeMoreTV VR goggle headsets. Doug explains that they won’t be able to actually leave NewsWorld, but the VR goggles will look so realistic and incredible that it really won’t really matter and it will feel basically like reality. Doug and Sam won’t have to age and can do the show forever.

Sam and Doug put on MeMore VR goggles and the screen is engulfed in a blinding white light as the episode ends.

Episode 90

Doug wakes up in NewsWorld at the beginning of episode 90, "Escape from NewsWorld!"

Episode 90 starts with Doug and Sam as avatars. Their true selves are piloting those avatars through the VR goggles given to them in NewsWorld. The VR goggles lose battery and Doug wakes up once again in NewsWorld, unsure of where he is.

After much confusion and bearing gathering, Doug hears Sam’s disembodied voice. The co-hosts deduce that they’ve been in NewsWorld for the past 20 weeks. Doug finds a small grove adorned with flowers that reads “Here lies NewsMouth.” He also finds a letter left at the grave, presumably to NewsMouth:

Mine own beloved NewsMouth,

I never did get to meeteth thee, though I readeth thy news reports for years, which has hath brought me, and mine own family, most wondrous joy. Thee shall beast greatly did miss in thy spirit shall liveith in the news.

From Terence.

EasyThreedMan in NewsWorld

While paying respects to NewsMouth, a small backhoe affixed with a blue sports car rolls up to Doug. Piloting the frankensteined vehicle is none other than EasyThreed. His primary role is an escort device to aid pilgrims in visiting NewsMouth’s gravesite. He thanks Doug for pumping him, but realizes that an outside source has actually been the one pumping him hardcore.

EasyThreed explains that Doug and Sam know him from his “aberrations in what is most commonly called ‘reality prime’.” EasyThreed was manifested to interact with them by a third-party access point. He has appeared to them as EasyThreed there, but he is actually EasyThreedMan, former consumer electronics reporter for MeNow magazine. When EasyThreedMan ascended to NewsWorld, he served under NewsMouth until NewsMouth’s death. He was then contacted by Chromer, who instructed him to enter MeMoreVR and find, serve, and rescue Doug and Same.

EasyThreedMan appears as an amalgamation of the toys he covered when reporting on “awesome tech crap” (Tommy Car & ToyDig 4.0). This is due to the newsification process that occurs in NewsWorld, which transformed EasyThreedMan from his worldy body to the toys he loves.

EasyThreeMan uses his new form to dig up NewsMouth’s grave, but only find his teeth. Doug asks EasyThreedMan how to get out, to which EasyThreedMan replies, “The way out is the way in, which is the news hole.

Doug decides he will enter that hole like a hero and save both his and Sam’s ass, and EasyThreedMan’s ass a’swell. He crawls through the news hole, reading the surrounding articles and rattling off a list of guests in the style of a Back to the Basics episode, all while Sam’s disembodied voice acts as the co-host.

In a segment titled, “The Dormations got pumped,” Doug explains that his time in NewsWorld has made him interested in real news and that he wants to move on from avant, “meaningless silliness.” However, each time he attempts to discuss real news stories the screen turns red, we hear a ringing and heartbeat, and Doug screams in pain.

Doug realizes the pain is related to talking about the news, but also the direction he moves in. “So here's my theory that direction is the exit, because if I'm moving towards leaving News World and I'm loving news at the same time, my body is rejecting my decision to exit the news world, giving me great pain. So this is a perfect opportunity to put myself in pain in order to gauge the direction of the exit of News World.”

Doug and Sam continue a modified “back to the basics” episode, where Doug experiences extreme pain each time the segment lapses into news, which consequently signals he is moving towards the exit. Doug finds a small opening in the news tunnel and climbs out, only to find a cryptic note:

Where is this yong I am, yond I beest wh’re I standeth?

Wh’re am I, yond I seeth, doth thou knowest this lodging wh’re is me?

oh chamb’r cav’rn, giveth us clues! This crumbling grotto of grime and news!

I counteth the markings on the mure as st’ries writ

and did view by all the nes is h’re in this filthy cave, a dwelling f’r a lowly nave.

the newsboy shouts I heareth that gent in the walls,

mine own corse trembles from mine own heath throughout mine own entire corse

oh filthy filthy! Free me anon! from this grubby hole entrapp’d ensared!

methinks, news’rld, I am still th’re!

Doug and Sam decide to finish the show in this new area when Doug finds some circulars draped over an object. He snatches the paper off the object to reveal Sam’s body! They decide to continue the show, but ask the chat to promise that if they die tonight, realmers will continue to watch the show.

After one last segment, Doug and Sam hear the voice of Chromer. He informs them that they are very deep within the bowels of NewsWorld and their prolonged exposure to the news is jeopardizing their lives. He’s been closely monitoring them via EasyThreed’s sensors, as well as highly advanced chrome equipment and electronic chrome devices, and has discovered that the only way out is to destroy NewsWorld from within. They must simultaneously embrace the news and destroy it with epic satire and wit. The only way out is by reciting hardcore witty and comical takes on today’s news (a newscantation).

Doug holds Sam’s nearly lifeless body up and they read a news article double team simultaneous style. A white light envelops the co-hosts and the audience is transported back to the studio where the co-hosts avatars wait patiently to end the show.

Realmer/Paul Beanie/Family theories and assumptions

Screenshot from episode 91 where Doug addresses the elephant in the room

During episode 91, Doug addresses the elephant in the room. He's heard from us, "Ok, OK... Last 20 Episodes Was NOT real?" Doug takes the time to explain that "NO--Y'all We Was Puppeting Ourself FROM In The VR (But Did Not Know). Many realmers had a difficult time understanding that the last 20 episodes they watched we not really Sam and Doug, but avatars they were puppeting from NewsWorld via MeMoreVR goggles. Which, in a way, is real.

Paul Beanie, is his appearance in episode 80, "LIVE from the MeMorePD Precinct!" thought it was real 😂😂. But it was real. But he didn't think they was puppets.

Doug and Sam's families, however, knew they was puppets. NVIDIA AI eye-replacement does not work IRL.

Some are still skeptical.