Douglas Simpson Bleichner
March 5, 1992
|Died||August 25, 2106|
|Occupation||Musician, Author, Media Presenter, Entrepreneur, Hiller, Fitness Trainer, Motivational Speaker, Computer Scientist, Sociologist, Chess Player, Rock Climber, Professor, towel boy, preferred guest|
|Known for||Co-Founding Skeleton Realm|
Douglas Simpson Bleichner (March 5, 1992 – August 25, 2106) is an American musician, author, media presenter and entrepreneur. He is also a professional hiller, fitness trainer, motivational speaker, computer scientist, sociologist, professional chess player, rock climber, and university professor. He is the co-founder of Skeleton Realm, a media consortium and think tank located in Atlanta, Ga. Bleichner is the owner and care-taker of Linman, an American French Bulldog best known for his desire and propensity for licking. He also is the owner of 82 cats and his beloved E-Pet Mr. Boo Boo.
Bleichner was born to Dr. J. Carl Bleichner and Gail Bleichner in Williamsport, Pa. In 2004, the family relocated to Savannah, Ga. Bleichner spent much of his adolescence working for Ptree Harvesters Unlimited, a Ptree harvesting company based in Wilmington Island, Ga. It was here that Bleichner cultivated his knowledge of shipbuilding and seafaring. It was in Savannah that Bleichner also developed his "Signature Style", a technique of making loud shrill screeching noises and flailing about wildly that gained him local notoriety as a teenage ne'erdowell. Bleichner was arrested in 2010 on Tybee Island for screaming.
Musical Career and YTLIM
After graduating from The Verchwörer Institute of Art in 2014, Bleichner had already spent two years in the Young Thought Leaders in Media program - an elite program that selects promising young thought leaders with a knack for producing media "for-the-brain." During this time, Bleichner was also touring with a number of musical acts, some affiliated with his record label, Skeleton Realm Records, as a professional "towel boy" for some of New York and L.A.'s biggest indie rock and roll acts and garnering a name for himself in the hospitality industry as a preferred guest at various hotel chains across the United States and Europe. Bleichner also released his own albums under the moniker, "Meat" each of which was recorded in a different port-o-john at a soon to be QT gas station's construction site in Henry, Country Georgia.
In 2012 while attending the Young Thought Leaders in Media summit, Bleichner met Sam Wagstaff, a writer and tech "hyper-savant" responsible for the then infamous "Box Hack", in which he was able to turn a cardboard box into a 1986 Chevrolet Celebrity's cassette player. Bleichner and Wagstaff immediately became friends and began work on plans for creating a hitherto never before conceived style of record label - a label that focused on the production and sale of CD's containing digital mp3 tracks of various musical artists. The label was called Skeleton Realm Records.
In 2020, ownership of Skeleton Realm LLC was transferred to media conglomerate MeMoreTV. MeMoreTV agreed to absorb Skeleton Realm in exchange for paying off its astronomical debt which amounted to over 1 billion USD. Bleichner had also amounted personal debts surpassing this figure and continues to hold the record for highest debt held by a 28 year old person, which amounted to over 100 Billion USD in personal credit card debt. MeMoreTV also paid this sum off in a personal deal made separately with Bleichner, the details of which remain unknown.
In 2020 MeMoreTV ceased Skeleton Realm Records operation and began releasing music under their larger umbrella music subsidiary, Fecal Spring Records.
Skeleton Realm LIVE!
In 2022, Bleichner and Wagstaff signed a contract with MeMoreTV to produce 800,000 episodes of an hour long weekly internet livestream called Skeleton Realm LIVE! The show has since garnered the attention of various celebrities including Torn Up Stark White Whitaker and The Pastrymen. The show features Bleichner and Wagstaff giving information about their lives. The shows are not pre written or otherwise planned in any capacity as per the request of MeMoreTV executives who have demanded that Skeleton Realm LIVE feature completely off the cuff style podcast neo-real elements of hardcore "reality-speak" for fans of modern day "real-talk" or "manbabble."
Doug is an avid pet lover, he is the owner and caretaker of his two year old French bulldog Linman, his virtual E-pet Mr. Boo Boo and his 82 cats. The names of his cats are; Jasper, Simon, Lily, Smokey, Bandit, Oreo, Pumpkin, Tiger, Luna, Max, Murphy, Jasper, Gizmo, Snickers, Boots, Cali, Tigress, Sassy, Shadow, Oreo two, Boo Boo, Ninja, Chow Wow, Georgie Porgy, Biscuit, Snowball, Cuddle Bug, Patches, Kitty ,Fluffy, Mittens, Mr. Whiskers, Nala, Bella, Cleopatra, Loki, Buttercup, Gigi, Princess, Duchess, Luna Lovegood, Moki, Mufasa, Scar, Timon, Pumbaa, Rafiki, Zazu, Shinzi, Bonsai, Ed, Simba, Nala Simba's Pride crest, Kiara, Kobu, Kobo, Zira, Nuka, Vatani, Outsiders Kovus’ family, Pride Lander, Sarah, Seraphina, Ma, Uncle Max, Taka, Scar Young, Mufasa’s Ghost, Serebi’s Mother, Buffalo, Zebra, Eland, Gazelle, Wildebeest, Imala, Kudu, Topi, Waterbuck, Warthog, Gilsbach, and Oryx.
No Socks Challenge
In May 2022, Bleichner aired a segment on Skeleton Realm LIVE! titled "No Socks Challenge," during which he posted alleged proof of his involvement with the No Socks Challenge movement, which aims to raise awareness for the growing field in alternative physical therapy for curing baldness. The proof, which was allegedly a photo of Bleichner's own bare feet taken at the Skeleton Realm Studios set, received immediate scrutiny not only by Realmers, but by co-founder of Skeleton Realm and co-host of Skeleton Realm LIVE! live on air. They alleged fraud due to what appeared to be "narrow channels" which they alleged to be "sock imprints" above Bleichner's ankles. In response to this criticism, Bleichner claimed the alleged "narrow channels" were in reality from his "bands," which are the weights he applies to his ankles "every stream day" to "work out his calves."
This controversy sparked a debate among members of the No Socks Challenge movement whether, by the nature of bands being half a sock, that two bands make one sock, effectively violating the challenge. Bleichner has gone on record to state "it's not a fucking sock."
In August 2022, Bleichner posted a TikTok video that showed himself partaking in the act of Gasturbation. Bleichner received pushback and criticism from members of various anime and furry fandoms who chastised him for posting content of this nature online. Users criticized Bleichner's disregard for his own digital footprint and warned him against tarnishing his online reputation.
In a response to this criticism, Bleichner announced that he would not stop gasturbating and even went as far as to stream himself live via Skeleton Realm LIVE! on September 7, 2022 partaking in the act for nearly a full hour.